I’ve been planning to do this post for aaaaages as I know a lot of you (on twitter mostly) are eager to hear how I’ve been getting on with the Online Dating. The reason I haven’t done it up and until now is because I didn’t want to be disrespectful towards any of the dates and their privacy, but I think I’ve managed to disguise their identities pretty well so hopefully this should be avoided.
When I first started, simply because a fellow blogger friend had had some luck on it and I found myself relatively newly single, I really enjoyed it. It was quite nice to get guys virtually throw themselves at you, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to actually meet any of them. But I did. Even though the thought freaked me out crazy.
Date Number One
The first guy I met was a few months ago, we went on a few dates together and he was SO handsome and really lovely and gentlemanly but unfortunately it didn’t work out. I remember at the time before meeting him I was dragging my heels even then – my friend would ask, ‘If you don’t want to go then why are you going?’, and I’d reply, all sullenly, ‘Because I feel like I should put myself out there, you know, as a gesture of moving on’.
Unfortunately, despite him being a relatively good experience of Online Dating, it had probably done me a disservice in the long run as I had assumed that they would all be of the same calibre. Ha. BIG mistake.
Date Number Two
My next date after that was with another guy, very handsome, had done a Masters, clever, ‘cool’ (prolly a bit too cool for me; I’ve discovered I like being the cooler half of a pairing with them being all, ‘oh, you’re so cool and you know so much about music and you dress so well..’), but we just didn’t click. In retrospect, I think it was down to him not being ‘grateful’ enough to be in my company, as I guess he kinda thought we were on equal footing with him also being cool and stuff. Yeah whatev. I’m not a big fan of aloof guys. I said I was tired at around 10.30pm and went home. He text the next morning saying I was ‘really cute’ and he’d like to see me again. I, probably rather childishly, ignored it.
Date Number Three
My third date, with another Irish guy (the first was an Irish also, you see, I decided after the first that I had a taste for them), was probably my least favourite of the lot. He was moody, cynical, had to be right about everything. I think that was just his patronising sense of humour but I didn’t really gel with it very well. I was not into him in the slightest and pretty much said this to him. But that didn’t stop the texts.. Oh no. It took at least four texts over several weeks that were ignored for him to (so far) give up.
The thing I’ve learned about a lot of the guys from the Online Dating world is that they’re so pushy. They badger you and badger you for dates, numbers, for not responding soon enough, whatever. And if you politely refuse them they just keep going. Obviously not all are like that, some were sweet and normal, but lots are. I think it might just be because they’re men and they think that they can control you a bit. Or maybe it’s just because that’s the reason why they’re on a dating site? Who knows, all I know is I hate pressure of any kind and having someone forced upon me is not my scene.
I’ve got a bunch of dates lined up, and to be honest I am not in the slightest hopeful about any of them. I am actually tempted to delete my account. Seriously, I meet much better looking and generally better guys just out and about normally. Guys that go to the same places as me, who dress well and have pretty faces with hair that falls in their eyes. I might just start hanging out at those places more often (FYI – there’s hotties a plenty at Bardens Boudoir in Stoke Newington).
So my conclusion is this, I will honour these last ten or so dates. Then after that the account is going deletos and I’m back to meeting guys the traditional way. Before then, in case you’re feeling in any way tempted yourself, here are my hard and fast rules (the first passed on from date number one, no less!) for Online Dating.
1. ALWAYS become Facebook friends first. You can see what they write about, who their friends are, their sense of humour, how chavvy they are. What they actually look like. C’mon, everyone’s got at least one good picture, and some of these onliners put pics up on their dating profile that are like 5 years old! A lot can happen in five years. Male pattern baldness, for one.
2. Don’t exchange numbers until added on Facebook. ‘Cause if you do you then can’t slyly delete them and disappear if no likey; they’ll keep bugging you and bugging you via text.
3. Arrange dates for two hour intervals only. Coffee, or a quick drink before your other plans. A lot of these guys are sneaky and try to plan really lavish dates that just so happen to be right near where they live. Uh-huh. I know your game, sonny Jim! It’s easy to get drunk and warm to someone, but that’s not really what a first date’s about, is it? A piss up on date number two, however, is totes allowed!
4. Really state what you’re looking for in your profile. I made the mistake of being too easy going and like, ‘Yeah, any guy that makes me laugh will do’. Balls. As if that will do. I got every single freak and his dad approaching me. People that couldn’t spell, people who were shorter than me, people with no teeth, people older than my dad. Eugh. It literally made my skin crawl that they genuinely thought they stood a chance with me. Now I’ve updated my profile and I’ve specified if you like shit music, dress middle aged or are in fact middle aged, don’t bother. And I think I even stated that I fancy Keith Murray and they should google him to see if they stand a chance.
This dude – Keith Murray
5. Approach the guys YOU like. Don’t wait for them to come to you. I have this silly notion in my head that if I approach a guy, simply because he’s a guy and guys don’t say no, he’ll say yes. Regardless of whether he genuinely is interested or not. And even if the date turns out really well I know it will always bug me that he didn’t ‘pick’ me. But that’s me. Most normal people won’t think like that, and by actively picking the guys you like you’re increasing your chances of going on dates with guys you like! See, it does make sense.
So that’s my two cents on Online Dating. I guess when it comes down to it, I’m just too fussy but it might not be so bad for others.. And hey, I’ve got ten dates left so my next update could be very different! Maybe I’m just having a rough time of it at the moment..
Wish me luck.
Lx
DISCLAIMER: All of the pictures are from google images and the all of the experiences are my own.
